Don’t you just love chocolate?

Sticky Peanut Cookie Bars

I’ve always thought I’ve been a decent person.  I try not to talk about people behind their backs.  I try not to be mean.  I try not to make things more dramatic than they need to be.  I try to be nice and stick by that pre-school mantra of treating others the way you want to be treated.

But do you know how stressful school can be?  Well, it is, especially in this day in age.  Now stress – like the stress you feel when your friends might pressure you to drink or the stress you feel as finals seem to be approaching as quickly as a train with failed brakes hurtling down a train track (the logic behind this simile will be explained in a later post) – this stress, it can make one do irrational things.  Irrational things in my case like being irrationaly mean.  Let me elaborate.

My AP english class this past year was not exactly a walk along a sunny beach.  There were also no ice cream cones to make it more pleasant.  Regardless of how difficult the class seemed though it was my favorite because I finally felt challenged at a level where I could learn and improve.  Unlike math where I am challenged but cannot learn or improve because the part of my brain which processes all things math related is dysfunctional.  Also, math is stupid.  I apologize if I offend any math lovers.  My point is I like english, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be writing such an elaborate story.  Anyway, near the end of the year we were given an extra credit assignment to write a letter to the rising juniors on how to survive my teacher’s class.  Of course nothing as epic as an extra credit assignment at the end of the year could go unannounced on facebook.  I’ll spare you the tragic details and just say that there were some statuses posted and some comments made that were offensive but obviously sarcastic towards the class and teacher.  And some genius came up with the novel idea to print out this conversation and to put it in my english teacher’s mailbox anonymously.  Some people are just so noble and smart, aren’t they?  Well it ended up with an emotional breakdown for all of those involved.  There was sadness, regret, anger, and apologizing.  Lots and lots of apologizing.  One week’s worth of apologizing.  There were flowers, letters, emails, conversations, and baked goods.

Specifically this scrumptious batch of baked goods.  Despite the story that comes along with them, don’t hesitate to make these sticky peanut cookie bars. These are out of this world AMAZING.  You know these are good because I just used capital letters.  They are like a candy bar taken to a whole new level.  With their crumbly, peanuty shortbread base, thin but distinct layer of chocolate, and a sticky gooey caramel topping studded with lightly salted peanuts, these bars will dispel all negative feelings.  I can only hope that this is exactly what they did for my english teacher.  And I hope they will do the same for you; no matter how you are feeling these bars make life worth living.

Sticky Peanut Cookie Bars from Chow

Ingredients

For the shortbread:

• 1/2 cup unsalted roasted peanuts
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 8 tablespoons cold unsalted butter (1 stick), cut into small chunks

For the topping:

Note:  You could use any caramel you have on hand, I had some leftover that I made for a recipe – it was about 3/4 cup worth and it was the perfect amount.

• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons water
• 1/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/3 cup finely chopped bittersweet chocolate (about 2 ounces) – I used about 3 times as much; it was the best decision I’ve made in my life.

Directions

For the shortbread:

1. Heat the oven to 350°F and arrange a rack in the middle. Butter an 8-by-8-inch glass baking dish and set aside. Combine peanuts, flour, sugar, and salt in the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until peanuts are ground and mixture is well combined. Add butter and pulse again until mixture resembles coarse meal.
2. Press mixture evenly into the prepared baking dish and prick it all over with a fork. Bake until lightly golden, about 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and place on a wire rack.

For the topping:

1. Combine sugar, 1/2 teaspoon of the salt, and water in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring often until sugar is completely dissolved. Continue to boil mixture, swirling the pan occasionally (but not stirring), until it turns a deep caramel color, about 8 minutes. Remove the pan from heat and carefully stir in cream and vanilla extract (mixture will bubble up and steam).
2. Sprinkle chopped chocolate evenly over cooled peanut shortbread.
3. Stir peanuts into caramel mixture and immediately pour over shortbread and chocolate base. Sprinkle remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt over peanut bars and allow to finish cooling. Cut into rectangles and serve.  Eat and enter the realm of sugar high bliss.

Heart of Darkness Brownies (they really are evil)

There were tears.  There was laughter.  There was anger.  There were moments of pure hysteria bordering close to insanity.  There was a sugar high.  And a sugar low. All in the span of six hours during which it took me three grueling tries to get these brownies right.  Please bear with me throughout  this emotional story.

Let us start this tale from the beginning when I decided I would do something nice for a close friend of mine who was turning twelve years old.  Although he lives an hour away from me I see him as my brother, especially because I have known him since he was a wee baby.  That something nice I decided to do was bake.  Specifically an oreo cheesecake (you don’t want to be around that kid when he sees oreos) and these evil, dark, heartless, brownies (but more on that later).  I baked the cheesecake on Thursday night for the party on Saturday.  Now my dear, lovely, grandmother comes to clean the house on Friday.  Do you feel the suspense yet?  Most of the time after she cleans we come home to find some food item completely missing, usually something I needed for baking or cooking, but it’s okay and I never get upset about it because for heaven’s sake she is cleaning our house!

Saturday, June 12th, I was eating breakfast and my mother looked at me with a distressed look upon her face.  She started to tell me how she had bad news, but that I shouldn’t get upset because it isn’t a big deal but she knows I will get very upset anyway -way to stall mom.  There I was thinking that she was going to tell me that somebody in the family had a deadly sickness.  Then she broke the news slowly, “your grandmother was cleaning the house yesterday” – I was thinking “is she ok?” – “and she ate a slice of cheesecake.”

At first, I felt relief that nobody was sick or dying.  And then when I looked at the cheesecake – horror.  It was not a slice of cheesecake that my hungry grandmother ate.  It was a hunk.  A one-eighth, semi-circle hunk that made the cheesecake look like a deflated tire.  I went on with decorating it with the sour cream frosting I had planned – but it had to be baked.  And when I baked it, some of the frosting pooled in the empty space where the cheesecake (my heart) used to be.  I decorated it with oreos and drizzled it with chocolate.  I guess if you don’t criticize it too much it looks okay… but I still think it looks like a deflated tire surrounded by oreos and with its circumference decorated with a chocolate squiggle and dots.  Needless to say I had a pretty tough and teary eyed morning.

So then I thought I could redeem myself with brownies.  Oh my.  How naive I was.  As I mentioned earlier it took three batches.  Three batches and one pot of burned sugar to get them right.  Lets begin with the first batch.  These brownies are quite stuffed with goodies, but I got a little carried away and added the marshmallows when I wasn’t suppossed to.  Mistake number one.  Then after I read the directions and slapped myself in the forehead a few times I decided I would take the marshmallows out.  With my hands.  The amount of batter that stuck to my hands and the marshmallows was probably about 1/6 of the entire recipe.  Mistake number two.  Then I decided that maybe it would work if I still added the brownie batter covered marshmallows on top of the brownie when the recipe instructed to do so with regular, not brownie batter covered marshmallows.  They melted into a sticky, untoasted, gooey, icky, chocolaty, stupid mess.  Mistake number three.  I tried to take them out of the muffin tins.  Mistake number four.  At this point all I wanted to do was throw the hot under-baked, sticky, stupid brownies and marshmallows at somebody’s face.  Instead, I threw them in the trash using a spoon.  It got all over my shirt and shorts.  Mistake number five.  This is when I had a mental breakdown.  I’ll spare you the unattractive details.

Compared to batch number one, batch number two was much better.  But it still sucked (not taste wise though).  Despite the ridiculous amount of oil I used to grease the muffin tins the caramels in the brownies still stuck.  This was not fun when I went to take them out of the pan.  And when I ran the knife around the edges of the brownies it brought the toasted marshmallows on top along with it, making the sides a sticky, gooey, stringy mess.  They ended up looking decent though and the best ones where the ones with the least marshmallows that I had piled on right on top so they wouldn’t stick to the pan.  But I wouldn’t be happy until I made up for an entire muffin tin of brownies that was currently lying three feet deep in the trash.

And finally we come to batch number three.  After my wonderful, supportive mother made a quick run to the grocery store for more butter and chocolate, I was into my fifth hour and baking yet another batch.  I didn’t add caramel candies to this one and instead added dark, milk, and white chocolate chips.  And I added minimal marshmallows, to the ones I did add marshmallows to.  Even so, some of the brownie stuck to the pan because of some white chocolate chips that had caramelized (I’m actually not sure what to call it – they turned yellow…) and stuck to the bottom.  Seriously though, at this point nothing could phase me.  I was just glad I hadn’t burned the house down yet.

Which actually provides a smooth transition into burnt caramel.  Yeah it happened.  I thought I was one of lucky ones who wouldn’t burn caramel but I should have known that it would happen that day.  Luckily no one was burned, no kitchen supplies were seriously damaged, and my mental health was affected only minimally.  Oh, and have you ever gotten a whiff of burnt sugar right up the nostrils?  Let me tell you it’s not pleasant.  You know what is pleasant though?  Eating a delicious brownie (or two) topped with toasted marshmallow and a drizzle of caramel.  Hey, I earned it.

Heart of Darkness Brownies (makes 24 brownie cups)  from Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey (did I mention these brownies where just that?)

I admire you if you still want to try these brownies after my horror story.  I thought they were worth it though.  And another plus is that now I can use my emotional distress as an excuse for not doing my homework.  At least until tomorrow.  Remember: only add a few marshmallows to the very top, don’t use extremely sticky caramel candies as an add-in, don’t burn your caramel (easier said then done, I know), and grease your muffin tins well, don’t have too many mental breakdowns, and try to have fun – especially at the eating part.  That’s my favorite.

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups (three sticks) unsalted butter
• 6 ounces unsweetened chocoalte
• 2 1/4 cups granulated sugar ( I used a little less than 2 cups)
• 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 6 large eggs, lightly beated
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour (I used white whole wheat per usual)
• 1  cup very coarsely chpped raw almonds or pecans, toasted (I omitted these because the birthday boy’s mother specifically asked for no nuts but I’m sure these would be even more outstanding with nuts)
• 1 cup semisweet chocoalte chips
• 5 full-size (2.07 ounces each) snickers candy bars, cut into small chunks ( I used dark chocolate covered caramels from trader joes, but I’m sure you could use any candy bar or chocolate candy you fancy)
• 3 cups mini marshmallows (DO NOT ADD THESE TO THE BATTER LIKE I DID!)

For the caramel drizzle I didn’t use the one in the book but this one instead.

• 1 cup sugar
• 6 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 cup heavy cream

Directions

1. Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 350 F.  Spray two standard 12-cup muffin tins with nonstick cooking spray.
2. Melt the butter and unsweetened chocolate together in a small saucepan over medium-low heat and stir until smooth ( I did the classic steam bath).  Pour the chocolate mixture into a bowl and stir in the sugars, eggs, and vanilla.  Sift the flour and salt into the chocolate mixture and stir until just combined.  Stir in the cooled chopped nuts, chocolate chips, and candy bar chunks.
3. Fill each muffin cup halfway with batter.  Bake until the surface of the brownies has a glossy, crackled surface, about 20 minutes.  Remove the brownies from the oven and top each one with 1/4 cup (about 6) of the mini marshmallows.  Return the brownies to the oven and cook just until the marshmallows start to melt and puff op a bit, but not browned too much, about 2 minutes (this took about 3-4 minutes for me).
4. Transfer to a wire rack to cool just enough to handle, then remove from the muffin cups, running a knife around the edge of each brownie to loosed it from the cup.  Let cool completely on the wire rack.
5. When the brownies are cooling, make the caramel drizzle: First, before you begin, make sure you have everything ready to go – the cream and the butter next to the pan, ready to put in. Making caramel is a fast process that cannot wait for hunting around for ingredients. If you don’t work fast, the sugar will burn. Safety first – make sure there are no children under foot and you may want to wear oven mitts; the caramelized sugar will be much hotter than boiling water.
6. Heat sugar on moderately high heat in a heavy-bottomed 2-quart or 3-quart saucepan. As the sugar begins to melt, stir vigorously with a whisk or wooden spoon. As soon as the sugar comes to a boil, stop stirring. You can swirl the pan a bit if you want, from this point on.
7. As soon as all of the sugar crystals have melted (the liquid sugar should be dark amber in color), immediately add the butter to the pan. Whisk until the butter has melted.
8. Once the butter has melted, take the pan off the heat. Count to three, then slowly add the cream to the pan and continue to whisk to incorporate. Note than when you add the butter and the cream, the mixture will foam up considerably. This is why you must use a pan that is at least 2-quarts (preferably 3-quarts) big.
9. Whisk until caramel sauce is smooth. Let cool in the pan for a couple minutes, then pour into a glass mason jar and let sit to cool to room temperature. (Remember to use pot holders when handling the jar filled with hot caramel sauce.) Store in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. OR drizzle on top of evil but delicious brownies.
10. Do not chill the brownie after drizzling them with caramel.  Allow them to cool at room temp.  Serve them immediately or store for up to three days in a covered container.

Chocolate Caramel-Pecan Souffle Cake

Have you ever had something that tasted like more?  Have you ever gotten so full to the point where you thought you would never eat again but yet continued to eat that something as if there were no tomorrow?  That something was this cake.

I made this for my mother’s birthday and if someone had time to take out a timer then they would have been able to time how quickly this cake disappeared, even after a full three course meal.  But alas no one had a timer, let alone the time to take one out because everyone was busy attacking this cake – most of the attacking was done by yours truly, my mother, and her chocolate obsessed best friend.  Those in my family who weren’t able to handle the intense chocolate highlighted by the subtle taste of bourbon found the remains of their cake eagerly eaten within seconds of me spying their uneaten crumbs and globs of caramel.  No crumb was left behind.  And I must say this caramel was outstanding.  I would make this alone and eat it by the spoonful if it were socially acceptable.  The huge pecan chunks and sweet caramel and slight undertone of bourbon could make a girl go crazy.  So can a pound of chocolate.  Which this cake has by the way.  Tempted yet?

Chocolate Caramel-Pecan Souffle Cake from Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey by Jill O’Connor

Since I used a 9-inch instead of 10-inch pan my filling didn’t cook completely and was still gooey when we cut into it but in the end this was a good thing because it added a nice variation of texture.  And it’s very fitting since the title of this book has the word gooey in it.

Ingredients

For the cake

• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into tablespoons, plus extra melted for brushing
• 1 cup superfine sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
• 1 pound bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped – I used 72%
• 8 large eggs, separated, at room temperature
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons bourbon
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar

For the Caramel-Pecan Sauce

• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 3 tablespoons water
• pinch of cream of tartar
• 1 cup pecan halves
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons bourbon

Directions

1. Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 350.  Brush a 10-inch springform pan with melted butter and coat the bottom and sides of the pan with superfine sugar.  Tap out any excess sugar.
2. To make the cake: combine the chocolate and butter in a bowl over lightly simmering water.  Melt the chocolate and butter together until melted.  Remove from heat.
3. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer set a medium speed, beat the egg yolks and salt until smooth.  Gradually add 1/2 cup of the superfine sugar to the egg yolks, beating until the mixture is thick and pale yellow and forms a slowly dissolving ribbon on the surface of the batter when the beaters are lifted, 4-6 minutes.  Whisk in the bourbon and vanilla.  Gradually whisk the egg mixture into the melted chocolate and butter.
4. In a large, clean, stainless-steel bowl, beat the egg whites and the cream of tartar with an electric mixer set at low speed until foamy.  Increase the mixer speed to high and continue to beating until the egg whites form soft peaks.  Keep beating, adding the remaining 1/2 cup superfine sugar 1 tablespoon at a time, until stiff peaks form.
5. Stir one-third of the egg whites into the chocolate batter to lighten it.  Using a rubber spatula, carefully fold the remaining egg whites into the chocolate batter just until blended.
6. Spoon the batter into the prepared pan.  Bake until the cake rises and appears puffy and firm, 25-30 minutes.  The cake should still be moist, but not liquid in the center, so a wooden skewer inserted into the center of the cake should not come out clean, but with very moist crumbs clinging to it.
7. Meanwhile, make the topping.  Combine the granulated sugar, water, and cream of tartar in a large, heavy saucepan.  Cook, gently swirling the pan occasionally over medium heat until the sugar dissolves and starts to turn color.  Increase the heat to high and boil until the syrup turns a deep amber color, 4 to 5 minutes.  Watch carefully as it can burn quickly.
8. Immediately remove the pan from the heat and stir in the nuts, then the cream and salt.  Using a long handled wooden spoon to carefully stir in the cream, as the caramel has a tendency to hiss and splash as the cold cream hits it.  Place the pan over low heat and cook, stirring constantly, until the caramel thickens, 3 to 4 minutes (this took longer for me, just keep cooking it until it reaches a thick caramel consistency).  Remove from heat and stir in the bourbon.  Set aside and keep warm.
9. Remove the cake from the oven and let cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes.  The cake will fall slightly as it cools.  Remove the sides of the pan.  Spoon the warm caramel-pecan topping over the top of the cake and allow the cake and the topping to cool completely at room temperature before serving.
10. Using a long, sharp knife dipped in boiling water and wiped dry to cut the cake.  Dip knife in boiling water and wipe clean for each slice.
11. Prepare yourself for a cake eating frenzy.